


The Skeletons in Our Closets

by prettyboydotexe



Series: Sun Angels [4]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, During Sunshine, Fluff, Healing, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon, Post-Gaea, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Vague Mentions of Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-16
Updated: 2015-12-16
Packaged: 2018-05-07 02:41:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5440466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettyboydotexe/pseuds/prettyboydotexe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nico should have been getting better, but he wasn’t. From a purely medical standpoint, Will could see how well he was doing, all the progress he’d made, but he also noticed what <i>wasn’t</i> getting better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Skeletons in Our Closets

Nico should have been getting better, but he wasn’t. From a purely medical standpoint, Will could see how well he was doing, all the progress he’d made, but he also noticed what _wasn’t_ getting better. 

Nico was having panic attacks, that much Will knew. He could see the toll they were taking on his body. He ate, but he didn’t gain the weight he should. He slept, but the bags under his eyes seemed to get darker. His hands shook even in training, and even though it wasn’t making him lose, it wasn’t helping him either. Will tried to help, but all his attempts were met with “I’m fine, Will.” 

Will figured Nico just wasn’t ready, and didn’t push as much as he could’ve. Jason tried, and got a much more acidic reply than Will had, so he felt confident he’d be the one Nico would come to when it was time. It shouldn’t have made him feel as warm as it did. 

He didn’t think the time would come so soon. 

 

Capture the Flag was much more fun when powers could get involved. There was nothing like being able to use his powers, bending sunlight to throw illusions against the trunks of trees, warping the shadows so enemy cabins wouldn’t know their location. It worked on almost everyone, save for Nico, but Will figured that was a given, since the son of Hades was an expert on shadows. 

He didn’t play often, since he had medic duties most weeks, but when he did he felt exhilarated. He could hear the clang of metal and the shouts of his fellow campers as they fought to cross each other’s borders. Will was looking for Nico, because Nico was usually where the flag could be found. Annabeth liked putting herself or Nico on flag duty, but Will had seen Annabeth dueling Clarice, so it could only be with Nico. 

It didn’t take long to find him, Will had developed an acute sense for where the son of Hades was, somehow, but he had also followed the sound of clashing metal. At the base of Zeus’s fist, Nico was holding his own against a small group of Will’s team mates, leading a handful of undead warriors in defence of their flag. Nico’s squad had formed a half circle around the Fist, with their backs to the rock formation, a quick glance up showed an undead archer manning the flag at the top. 

Nico hissed out a curse at Will’s arrival, shoving his opponent to the ground with a foot to the chest. 

“Stay down, you’re defeated,” Nico commanded, causing even Will to feel a shiver of dread down his spine. Nico could be truly terrifying. Will notched an arrow, aiming for the archer on top of the fist and easily taking him out. The dead could be awfully dense. “Wilhelm, get back here!” Nico shouted as Will began his ascent up the side of the fist, cursing up a storm since he couldn’t follow, given his attackers were still trying. “Wilhelm!” 

“Sorry, Deathboy, I got a game to win!” Will shouted back in reply, only to feel the ground under his shake a few seconds later. Nico was shaking the Earth, and a couple of Will’s team mates screamed as they were dropped into a hole about eight feet deep with smooth sides, but that wasn’t why Will suddenly dropped to the ground, flag abandoned. _Nico_ had screamed. That wasn’t normal. 

Granted, it wasn’t really a scream, it was more like a sudden, horrified yelp. Still, it was strange for Nico, and Will hurriedly made his way to his side. By the time Will got to Nico, who was sitting down now, head in his hands and shaking terribly, he could hear shouts in the forest. Apparently, everyone else had felt the tremors and was now on their way to see what happened. 

Nico was a mess, eyes clenched shut and fingers dug deep into the Earth, knuckles white from the strain. 

“Nico,” Will prodded gently, easing an arm around the boy’s shoulders. Nico was getting better about being touched, but he still didn’t like it too much. “Nico, breathe... I need you to breathe.” Nico’s breath was coming in short, shuddery pants, easily recognizable as a panic attack. Will bet that if his eyes weren’t shut so tightly, they’d be watering. “Nico…” 

Others had gathered around now, creating a warbled circle around the two while a group off to the side fished their team mate’s out of the hole. Nico covered his ears as people started to murmur around them, Will snapped. 

“If you’re just going to sit and stare at him, fuck off! Haven’t any of you had a panic attack before? You’re not helping!” he barked, most of the campers quickly dispersed. Will adjusted Nico so the boy had his face in Will’s shoulder, rubbing his back in soothing circles. “Breathe with me, Neeks,” he ordered gently, breathing deep, even, and slow so Nico could keep up. They succeeded, after a while, so Nico was able to breathe without passing out, though he did have the hiccups pretty badly. 

Jason had positioned himself like a sentry in front of them, arms crossed with a hard glare towards anyone who chanced a glance at them. He looked back, giving Will a questioning look, to which Will responded with a slow nod. Jason nodded in return, resuming his position. 

“You with me, Deathboy?” 

“Don’t call me Deathboy…” Will couldn’t help but smile at Nico’s reply. It was tired and strained, but Nico was present, and that’s all Will needed. “Sorry…”

“Hey, no, don’t be sorry,” Will immediately frowned. “We all have a panic attack at some point, it’s pretty much a staple in demigod life. Nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Still…”

“I had one, you know, when Millie was going into labor,” Will shrugged, petting the back of Nico’s hair when the boy refused to pull himself from his hiding spot in Will’s shoulder. “I have them pretty often, actually, so don’t worry about it, alright? I don’t think any less of you because of what happened to you in the past.”

“I’ve done horrible things, Will.” 

“We all have. It helps to talk about it, to share the burden, but it’s alright if you’re not ready.” 

“...Thank you.” 

“Don’t mention it, Deathboy.”

“God dammit, Solace.” 

 

Will expected that to be the end of it, at least for a while, but Nico proved him wrong yet again when he showed up on Will’s cabin porch after the bonfire that same night, hands shoved deep in his pockets and head bowed like a scolded puppy. 

“You okay there, Neeks?” Will couldn’t help but ask, cocking his head to one side in curiosity. Sure, Nico came to hang out pretty often, Will liked to think he enjoyed his company, but he never came this late, or looking so solemn. 

“I… I think I’m ready.” Will didn’t need anymore explanation. 

“Let’s go to your place, then.” 

With the door to Cabin Thirteen locked firmly in place, the two demigods seated cross legged on Nico’s bunk, the son of Hades still found it hard to start the dialog. Will understood, talking about past hurts was difficult, even for those who don’t have traumatic pain. 

“My mother used to beat me, you know,” Will started, Nico’s head shot up, eyes wide in surprise. “Yeah, she did. Used to take a belt to my hide for being different, then get mad when it didn’t beat the gay out of me.” 

“I-I didn’t know…” 

“Yeah, I don’t really like to broadcast it, but it’s not a secret, either,” Will smiled softly. “She’s not around anymore, though.. She’s probably dead.”

“What makes you say that?”

“She got hit by a car,” Will’s smile disappeared. He still remembered that day like no other. The smell, his mother’s shouts for him to call 911, her pleads when he just sat there, staring at the wreckage. “I tried to help her, stop the bleeding or something, but I was only nine. Even with the gifts from my dad, there was only so much I could do.”

“You tried to save her, even though she was awful to you?” Nico frowned, but it wasn’t disappointed. More like… confused. 

“Well, yeah. She’s my mom, even if she didn’t act like it. If I can, I’ll help anyone who needs me,” Will offered him a small smile. “There’s been lots of campers I haven’t been able to save, Nico, especially with the war. I have their blood on my hands-”

“You don’t!” Will hadn’t expected that interruption, Nico looked so _angry_. “You tried to help them, and they know it! You aren’t the one that killed them, Solace. If they blamed you, I would know, and they don’t.” 

Will sat still for a moment while Nico seethed, watching him calmly while the other boy regained his composure. 

“That’s a relief,” Will told him, once Nico wasn’t two seconds from exploding. “It won’t stop the nightmares, but it’s a load off of my shoulders. You have to understand Nico, blaming ourselves for things we can’t control is part of our nature. We’re so used to being heroes, hell, we’re called heroes the moment we’re outted as demigods. We think we’re supposed to save everyone, to help everyone, but Nico, we can’t. I’m a healer, it’s my job to keep people alive, and sometimes I fail. Those I couldn’t save will haunt me everyday for the rest of my life, reminding me of what I could have done better, that I could’ve been better, but I wasn’t, and they suffered the consequences for it,” Will absently drew nonsensical shapes on the duvet, lost in thought for a moment or two before continuing. “I know it isn’t my fault. Logically, I can’t save everyone. It’s impossible. But that won’t stop me from trying. We all make mistakes, Nico, we’ll do things we regret to our dying day. It’s part of being a demigod, part of being human.”

“Yeah… I know…” Nico nodded, eyebrows furrowed in what looked like deep thought. Will placed one warm hand over his, startling him into looking at Will again. “I… When we, Reyna, Coach Hedge, and I, were transporting the statue… we were attacked.” Will sat back against the headboard, watching Nico with a carefully unbiased expression. Nico didn’t like to speak about the journey, about how he almost faded away. Will hadn’t heard this story. “He was a roman camper.” Will caught the past tense, he could see where this was headed. “Apparently, he’d killed his commander. According to Reyna, he’d been shunned… He was… working… with Octavian. He tried to kill us, and I…” 

Will quickly scooted next to Nico, curling an arm around his shoulders. Nico leaned into his side, uncharacteristically in need of contact. 

“I didn’t kill him, Will… I destroyed him.” Will’s blood ran cold, but he kept Nico close to him, rubbing his shoulders while the younger teen staved off a panic attack. “I can’t feel him, in the underworld, purgatory, the fields, nothing… I completely…” Will shushed him gently, stroking his hair, rubbing his back while he was racked with shudders. “I didn’t know what else to do..!” 

“Shhh… you’ll work yourself into a panic… deep breaths, slow breaths, Neeks…” Will would admit that the extent of Nico’s powers… disturbed him. That was a lot of power for one demigod, to be able to destroy someone’s essence like that, even someone as rotten to the core as Bryce Lawrence was. Nico took deep, hiccuping breaths, leaning slightly off of Will when he had steadied out. He still had something to say. 

“Then with Octavian… I should have warned him… I should have sto-”

“No, no, stop. That wasn’t your fault, Nico,” Will interrupted him sternly, wagging his finger at him. “Don’t interrupt me. It wasn’t. You know he wouldn’t have listened to you. You know he would’ve done in anyway. Octavian was crazy, Nico, he was running on self destruct.” 

“Still…” Will shook his head, scooping nico up in his arms again. Nico squirmed slightly, apparently over his previous need for contact, but allowed Will to hug him. They stayed silent for a while, just sitting, thinking about what all had been said. After a while, Will opened his mouth to say something, only to be stopped when a quiet snore came from Nico. 

Will couldn’t help but smile, carefully extracting himself from Nico and laying him back. He got Nico’s shoes off, changed him into what Will remembered he slept in, and tucked him in. It was late, after all, and they’d just had a very emotionally draining conversation. There was a lot to think about, for both of them, but Will knew they’d be okay. 

With one last check over to make sure Nico was properly asleep, Will pressed a kiss to Nico’s forehead that he’d deny to his dying day before slipping quietly out of the cabin, flipping the lights out on the way back. Had he stayed for a moment longer, he would’ve seen the small smile on Nico’s lips, but instead he focused on not being caught by the harpies.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any requests or ideas, find me at my writing blog! prettyboydocx.tumblr.com


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